What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Moo

Like Moo or Mu from My Brother and Me.



Check in at about 6:54

Quote from Youtube Video Comments:

rofl moo, forgot about that nigga

LOL @ this random proper little black kid who kind of looks like a miniature Goo with a blue cow shirt unwittingly ruining Alfie and Didi's shit just by his mere appearance.

I guess that's what would happen if I named my kid...Moo.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Picabo

As in Picabo Street!



Pronounced Peek-a-boo.

Who the eff would NOT love to name their kid Peek-a-boo? It's almost as ooey gooey cooey feeling as Myron.

This name would be on the fast track to labeling my would-be daughter, if I didn't keep thinking of Picabo in one commercial where her ass is in yet another tight skiing suit and protruding for the American viewing pleasure.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Bozho

Not as in the clown Bozo.



But as in this guy I vaguely knew named Bozho who went to my grade school and my cousin's grade school.

I kept thinking about the clown whenever I heard this guy's name, but in high school, he played football and looked decidedly tougher in his football picture. He was playing foo-ball foo-ball! Must prove masculinity! GRRR.

His smirk reminded me of the intensity captured in this Olympics Nike commercial.



Bozho would be out for your blood, motherfucker.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Myron

Based on this little kid I knew of in grade school.

He looked this.



Now imagine that kid dressed with shorter hair, in a school uniform, a red button-up sweater with his name knitted on the left side in capitalized big alphabet letters.

Awww, that's my Myron!!!

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Brad

Loosely based on a conglomeration of Brad Pitt and Brad Miller, but mostly in reference to fromer Mavericks player Brad Davis!



That's the Brad I think about when I hear the name Brad!

Who wouldn't want a kid with a porno 'stache?

Brad was always a white person's name, the quintessential white American buckaroo's name.

I think I would get a kick out of naming my kid Brad if I married this super-ethnically diverse Indian/Brazilian/Korean/Black woman, and instead of taking the opportunity to create a new unique name reflecting my hypothetical kid's various ancestries and identities, ultimately borrify people with an Anglicized plain-ass American name like Brad.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Amar'e

Like the NBA Suns forward Amar'e Stoudemire.





I'm a Chicago Bulls fan, I used to frequent message boards, and one of the funnier message board posters called him the "big stupid guy who isn't afraid to start a fire in the hole and lead a charge [that we need on this team]"

Hell yeah.

Definitely in the consideration if he moves to Chicago.

Amar'e Jamie Delas Armas.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Gio

As in Giovanni Van Bronckhurst, formerly known as Gio from Barcelona. Not Geo from the Blue Scholars.



Another one of those FIFA 07 names. In Espanol, the announcers would call him "Gio" and made that sound cool. In English, he was simply van Bronckhurst.

I suggested this to my mom, just the name Giovanni, and from her place on the couch she looked at me and grunted with eyes to the ceiling "Lord, have mercy."