What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Bebel

Bebel. A bossa nova musician.

I seriously did not know till yesterday that there were a bunch of musician Gilbertos...Joao, Bebel, and Astrud, I thought those were all just one person.

I didn't know, they all sounded kind of androgynous to me, and it was just a different nickname that this one slick yet random Brazilian artist surnamed Gilberto decided to use faintly related to the way the Artist formerly known as Prince went through several name changes.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Putobongbong?

Putobongbong is Filipino dish.

I've been told many a time that Tagalog is a really bouncy language, but I imagine my kid somehow looking like a goofy-arse Shane Battier.

I don't know how he'd look like, but I hope such a weird ass name would make em a tougher man with a permanent drool coming from his mouth after years of teeth gritting and anxiety.

I think I'd change his (most likely, I would never put my lil princess daughter thru that) last name to something American to something like Harris, just for effect. Putobongbong Harris. Like he was some kind of NFL wide receiver.

Getting saddled with a name like Putobongbong would be the ultimate trap of a name, given that he would probably be nicknamed Spanish "Puto" or the Yiddish "Putz".

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Deion?

Like the high-stepping neon Deion Sanders!

Or Dion Basco.

I kinda wanted to named my kid Deion Pupunu. I add the "Pupunu" because I saw that name in an add for NFL Gameday '97 or '98 and I thought that was such a fat person's name.

So I guess my kid named Deion Pupunu would turn out to be a high-stepping fat guy.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Moo

Like Moo or Mu from My Brother and Me.

Check in at about 6:54

Quote from Youtube Video Comments:

rofl moo, forgot about that nigga

LOL @ this random proper little black kid who kind of looks like a miniature Goo with a blue cow shirt unwittingly ruining Alfie and Didi's shit just by his mere appearance.

I guess that's what would happen if I named my kid...Moo.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Picabo

As in Picabo Street!

Pronounced Peek-a-boo.

Who the eff would NOT love to name their kid Peek-a-boo? It's almost as ooey gooey cooey feeling as Myron.

This name would be on the fast track to labeling my would-be daughter, if I didn't keep thinking of Picabo in one commercial where her ass is in yet another tight skiing suit and protruding for the American viewing pleasure.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Bozho

Not as in the clown Bozo.

But as in this guy I vaguely knew named Bozho who went to my grade school and my cousin's grade school.

I kept thinking about the clown whenever I heard this guy's name, but in high school, he played football and looked decidedly tougher in his football picture. He was playing foo-ball foo-ball! Must prove masculinity! GRRR.

His smirk reminded me of the intensity captured in this Olympics Nike commercial.

Bozho would be out for your blood, motherfucker.

What Would Happen If I Named My Kid...Myron

Based on this little kid I knew of in grade school.

He looked this.

Now imagine that kid dressed with shorter hair, in a school uniform, a red button-up sweater with his name knitted on the left side in capitalized big alphabet letters.

Awww, that's my Myron!!!